Sunday, November 20, 2011

you want me to put what in where?

Passion Party [pa-shun-par-tee] (noun)- a home party where (mostly overpriced) toys of the adult nature, along with other bedroom paraphernalia, are displayed and sold to a posse of women who have been gathered together by the host- usually a friend or relative- who has tempted them to come with promises of food, drinks, and a night away from their husband. least that's my definition of it. Last night was my first ever experience with the likes of a Passion Party. Oh, I'm familiar with them...I've heard many a stories of brightly colored vibrators gyrating while they're being passed around the room and the women in compromising positions, posing for photo's that would make them hide their face in shame if ever posted to any social media site. I was ready for an entertaining night.

I arrived early to help the host, my very good friend's sister, set up. I was assigned to the tasks of making jello shots and frosting the penis cake. I am the most domestically inclined of the three of us so the kitchen related duties didn't surprise me. I've never attempted preparing jello shots before (they've always just magically appeared on platters at parties) so some googling was necessary. I used the quick-prep directions on the box and substituted about half of the cold water/ice mixture it called for with some, ok..lets be honest, a lot of vodka. I eyeballed the amounts of everything since I had no time to be fiddling around with measuring cups but the feedback from the crowd was positive and none were left at after 20 minutes of being placed out....Victory! The cake was already baked and simple to decorate. Just some pink frosting, chocolate sprinkles placed strategically, and some red icing for, um, the veins per the directions of the host. In my opinion, the red icing should've been checked at the door. With it, the penis cake ended up looking bloody or inflamed with some type of venereal disease. But hey, cake is cake and as long as it's topped with some sugary substance no matter how nauseating it looks, most women will eat it. With the "Pin the Junk on the Hunk" poster firmly mounted to the wall, all that was left to do was wait for the company spokeswoman to arrive with the goods.

Once she got inside and set up the party was underway. Going into this, I wasn't 100% sure of what to expect but one of the last things I anticipated was for the night to be, well, PG-13 at best. Maybe I just have a high tolerance for things sexual in nature but none of the products she whipped out of her bag of tricks made me say "Oh My!". She passed around a bunch of generic toys, some with a new added doohickey or function (insert ooh's and ahh's here), plus some lubricants and edible what not's. So, what's a girl to do when the night's turning out to be not as exciting as she once thought? Make her drinks a little stronger! That's always a cure-all.

I'm exaggerating a bit..the night wasn't quite a snoozefest but that was mainly attributed to the other women in attendance who knew how to party. I just expected way more from our Passion Party rep who was the hostess with a few short of the mostest. She seemed ill-prepared (no catalogs, no prize?), combined with the blah line of products that would possibly make a nun blush, and the fact that she kind of rushed the party along made me not so impressed.

Final verdict- would I ever attend a Passion Party again? I always say if I find something I don't like in life, I should try it again in a different way. So yes, I would..with a different host. Same host? No thanks, I'll pass.

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